Movie Talk: The Five Movies for Grieving After You've Been Dumped

So you just got dumped by the person you loved. They didn't want to put up with you anymore because you're too much for the normies. You're beaten down and broken. Your friends try to cheer you up and it helps until they go on about themselves and forget you even exist. You just want to lay in bed and drown your heart with dark chocolate and diet cherry coke, trying to make sense out of life, and thinking you should just marry your mattress instead. Then your friends wanna give you all of these ridiculous Rom Com recommendations which work for your typical girl night. You go from He's Just Not That Into You, to Some Kind Of Wonderful and it just leaves you more hurt and confused than before. Am I Watts or Amanda? Is Jake Ryan even real life? Rom Coms are only fun when you have someone in your life, but since it's the other way around you know you must go through the five stages of grief that come with heartbreak. And so I give you a reality check. You're welcome god damn it.

(Will limit the amount of spoilers that can get me killed.)

1. Denial

Blue Valentine (2010)

I know what you're thinking by just looking at the picture above - what kind of joke is this? Are you trying to hurt my fresh broken heart? Well, it might break your heart again, but all for the right reasons that go towards your self improvement. When I first saw this title on Netflix, I had high hopes that Ryan Gosling would sweep me off my feet and give me relationships goals. I was incredibly wrong, but still so intrigued. I was not even halfway in before I got a sour taste in my mouth due to all my tears. In a way, it did help me comprehend the struggle of maintaining a relationship. Did it leave me wanting to take it a step further? No way. The reason this is the first movie to watch is simple if you just put yourself in either Cindy or Dean's shoes. In my case, I was both of them. These characters portray what you are feeling, so visually seeing your problems will help you heal faster.  People change, and you can either adjust to their new self or leave. Don't be in denial because you think staying with someone who is unappreciative or simply abusive both mentally or physically is normal for every relationship. Know you have the option to walk away when you know that you've done all you could. I mean who even believes that people actually marry their soulmates now a days? Okay I still kinda do.

Not available on Netflix. Sorry 'bout it.

2. Anger

Gone Girl (2014)

If you ask me how many times I've seen this movie, you'd probably never want to speak to me again, followed by relocation and forgetting that you ever met me because you might get the impression that I could make you an accessory to murder. This is my most beloved and treasured film. Some of you may know that Fincher is my favorite director. He's not one to let an audience down. When Gone Girl came out, I honestly thought it was going to be the cliche mystery of a husband that killed his wife. Nick is being portrayed as the bad guy, and Amy is nowhere to be found. Before I say too much for those who haven't watched it (and I ask you why you still haven't), let me just say that the character that you side with will greatly depict who you are in general. For the most part, it's common for you to side with the person being hurt, but the different ways one can hurt another are countless, and present in this film. This movie is a one woman Thelma and Louise if you ask me. I admit to letting my anger go by just watching this movie, because it made all of my dreams come true. If your partner felt guilty while watching this even though they've "done nothing wrong" then A, start packing your shit cos it's going south real fast, or B, come up with a legit master plan for retaliation. If you pick option B then come sit with me. I promise I am not as crazy as I made myself sound just now.

Not available on Netflix. Genuinely sorry about it.

3. Bargaining 

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)

Okay so this one is a bit overrated, I know, but I'll be damned if I didn't consider it an essential part of this stage. The story is very creative, and some might get confused but you'll get on board after the letter gets sent (which looks like the picture above). Clem erases Joel, which devastates him. In act of defiance, he decides to do the same. Halfway through, he starts to regret this decision and tries to fight back in order to at least keep one memory. I don't really think I would go to an extent of wanting to salvage memories after attempting to delete all that there was of a certain individual, but I know some of you would. DON'T. I know this is not the message this movie is trying to send. I'm punk, I don't care, I do what I want. You my friend, you are punk too. If you want to remember all the "good" times, fine, but it's not helpful if you want to go on a path of self improvement. Which is what I'm trying to help you do. Don't look back, because you're so close to finishing up your grief. Trust me, I still have two more movies to tell you about. It gets so much better, promise! Take this movie as a lesson, and take it from the other two. PEOPLE CHANGE, and sometimes there is not much you can do about it but look out for yourself.
Not available on Netflix. I know, I'm horrible at this.

4. Depression

The One I Love (2014)

I don't even know why I am recommending this movie. I think it's because it psychologically fucks you up. Not that you need more damage to your already mangled up life, but this movie is good to consider while in this stage. It is one of a kind, definitely something I've never heard of. If you ask me for a Netflix recommendation in any emotional state that you are in, I will give you this one. Ethan and Sophie are not in good terms with their marriage, so they seek out counseling like any normal person would. Their counselor sends them off to his vacation house so they can have some time to reevaluate and repair their marriage. Trying remember what it was that drove them crazy in love, they have playful dinner date, and then SURPRISE. There is something in the guest house, which makes it even harder to comprehend their marriage. They must now figure out if they truly love each other, and the ending is just shocking. I wish I could say more, MUCH more, but I hate spoiler fiends and I'm not about to become one. All I know is that this left me depressed after, but in a good way if that makes sense? It fucks you up, but in that way that you need to be in order to handle this situation in your life. The answers are in the movies. All you have to do is watch them and take from them.

AVAILABLE ON NETFLIX. YES!

5. Acceptance 

What If (2014)

We made it! We've finally gotten through that rut of ridiculous sadness and you deserve a reward! A fucking Rom Com! YEAH! You've done your time, and I'm sure you're probably feeling a lot better after letting all those negative emotions go with all the depressing movies I just made you watch. So here is one for the new and improved you. Because you still believe in love despite all of the heartbreak, this movie will inspire and awaken all the emotions you thought were dead. Probably your typical Rom Com, but still cute. Wallace and Chantry meet at a party thrown by Allen who is Chantry's cousin. They hit it off really well and the connection is visibly present, but to our dismay, Chantry has a boyfriend - CUE THE TEARS. It's quite uncommon for girls and boys in relationships to have friendships with the opposite sex simply because jealousy rides high for their partner. You feel bad for rooting for these two, but at the same time, love is love and you are waiting for the moment when Chantry just leaves Ben. In the mean time, Wallace settles for the friend zone, even though the tension is dense. Chantry knows she feels something too, but she's been with Ben for five long years. I will stop here, and also mention that Allen also has the worlds best relationship with Nicole, which are my entire relationship goals. The reason I need you to watch this is to remind you of how life has so many opportunities for love. Don't give up just because someone couldn't appreciate you. There is someone out there for you who will laugh at your stupid jokes and think you're the most amazing human being on this planet. 

Not available on Netflix, unfortunately. 

If you had to learn at least one thing that all of these movies seem to have in common, it's that sometimes you just have to be selfish in the game of love. When you've done all that you can for someone who is also taking the selfish route themselves, then there is nothing else to save. Love can be cruel, but it can be beautiful when the indicated person comes along. When it's right, it's right. Just don't get desperate and go looking where you shouldn't. Know your worth, focus on yourself and your passions, but most importantly, LEARN TO LOVE YOURSELF. Because in the great words of mama Ru, "If you can't love yourself, how the hell you gonna love somebody else?"