la belle renard

The Verve - Bittersweet Symphony Words cannot explain how I feel right now, but I can try. I feel like this huge chunk of negativity in me has been transplanted off my chest, my mind, my heart, my life. Everyday, there was this bit in me that made me miserable, and I never quite now how to rid myself from it. I tried, but to no avail. It grew worse and worse, and it was affecting my daily life, my relationship, and my happiness most of all. Today, I talked it out of me. It came out of my throat, slid through my tongue, and presented itself out of my mouth. I have this very bad tendency of holding all of my rancor and thoughts inside, and never really talking them through with people. I will literally hold a lot of things to my grave, or at least until they become irrelevant. Not today. It is strange how I was just thinking about how much harm this negativity was creating, and how I must seek relief. The only way was to either, a) talk about it, or, b) finish things. I grew the cou

I am incredibly stoked on this deal I got on ebay! Normally, all the Mad Men seasons at Target are $10 (except for season 6), and I got the first 4, and all these dude movies for $14.45! I haven't seen the first Batman movies, so I guess that means I'll put them to use. I think I might give them to my dad, since my boyfriend won't take them. I am in love with MAD MEN!!!

The Flaming Lips - Do You Realize?? Okay, I don't know why this song has been stuck in my head for more than an hour now. I'm not really big on the Flaming Lips, but this song came out in my iTunes Radio the other day, and I was mesmerized. Of course, I had also heard it before in the movie "50 First Dates" and really liked it, but I never bother to look for it, mainly cos I was about 11 years old at the time.  To begin with, I am not even feeling any sorts of romantic. In fact, I am very irate and hungry. Maybe this song depicts my love for food at the moment. Perhaps, I really miss my boyfriend (although I am not in good terms with him right now.) Whatever reason it is, I am going to buy this song on iTunes now, and enjoy it tomorrow morning for my run.

I have been thinking about moving somethings in my room. My bed is right next to the window, and it actually bothers me a lot because the sun hits right through my windows and the heat practically intensifies, making my room really hot. Also, I want to build a little rack/drawer to put my books and have some flowers growing near my window. Finally put it to use. Also, I want to rid of huge furniture that I frankly find pointless because I only stack my mess there. My dad gets home tomorrow, so I'll let him know about my ideas. I hope it all works out in my favor.

Belle and Sebastian - Funny Little Frog This has got to be my ultimate favorite song right now. I am in love with it! The story with this song is nothing too fancy. I was taking a shower after my morning run and this came out on The Shins iTunes Radio station. Let me tell you, this song makes me want to buy a one way to Paris and just live there, even if it means living in a dumpster. It is so catchy, the tune is so peppy and positive, the lyrics... They are everything a hopeless romantic wish they could say to someone they really love. At first I thought it was a love song (it still is) about a guy who just really appreciates his beloved (still is) but the difference is that he doesn't grab up the courage to tell her how much she means to him. Like when you are stuck in the "friendzone" and your crush just treats you so well, and is always there for you, how do you not fall in love? This kind of reminds me when me and my boyfriend first started talking as friends. W

I woke up today with a goal. I wanted to run 3.5 miles in 35 mins. I couldn't because there was a dog that scared me, so I had to walk past it in a non threatening way. Then some really creepy Mexican looking young guy in a black modern pick up truck came to the park and just sat there in his truck for 10 minutes. He has done this before, I think once. So I had to look out, and keep my eye out on close exits. Therefore, I really didn't complete my tasks that I had sought for myself. I'm bummed, but maybe tomorrow will be better. Also, I am really hungry. I keep eating every hour, but very small portions. at 7 am, I had a granola bar. at 8 am I had a kolache. Now I made a banana smoothie with a slice of wheat bread with peanut butter and jelly on it. I am already thinking about lunch time. I want to take a nap before doing so though. My novela starts in a bit though, so I don't see that happening for me.

Mad Men You know how some people are very tv savvy and can binge watch a whole tv series in a minimum of 9 days? Well that is not me. I'm not really big on tv, in fact, I rarely sit my ass down and watch it. During this spring semester in college, I would come in to class about 2 hours early. My first class would start at 8:45 am, so I'd be at school by 6:45 am. Reasons to which I will later explain thoroughly in another post. In those two hours, I would sit outside my class in some chairs and watch tv series, which I will also discuss later on. One of the shows that I picked up turned out to be Mad Men. I was done watching all other shows, and I was looking for something new. Mad Men was in the "suggest for you" area on Netflix, so I said, "Why not?" Let me tell you, I did not know what to expect at all. I had NO IDEA what it was about before watching the first episode, and all I got out of that episode was that there is a large amount of smoking, and

I will clean out my closet more than once a month, yet I am too afraid to let go of a lot of things because I am so attached. Most of the clothes in there, I won't even wear more than once. I feel it is pointless to hold on to these things that take up so much space. My mom says she wants to sell them at the flea market, but I would much rather give them to my friends or cousins. Although I would like to make some money, nothing gives me a better satisfaction than giving it away to someone I know will wear and appreciate it. It makes me ten times more happy to give it away than to wait on ebay or some other site until someone decides to buy it.  Also, Pulp Fiction in Spanish is hilarious! It is one of my favorite movies, which I always hoped to watch in Spanish. I know the DVD doesn't have it, and one of the channels on my cable provider showed it on Friday so I made sure to record it. My mom can finally watch it in hopes of understanding it. (I highly doubt it though, no

The Academy Is... - About A Girl  Today I woke up thinking of this song. It brings me nothing but good memories though. When I was a sophomore in high school, I was still transitioning from my many crazy styles. When I was a freshman, I considered myself to be emo/scene, which had me listening to a bunch of music I really couldn't comprehend but still made me cool. Some Paramore, some BMTH, but by the summer of 2009, I was on my way to become "indie" because I was bullied by some "indie" girls and my way of getting back at them was to become one of them. It was not only that, but I also admired them, and thought they were cool (if that makes any sense?) Their style was something unheard of where I live, and I always aspired to be different. Okay, too much derailing of the point I am trying to convey, and how this song has a meaning to it. Anyways, when I went back to school, this was one of my favorite songs because I always sought myself to be a hopeless r

Elliott Smith - Between The Bars  I recently came across this song one morning as I was taking a shower after my run. It was part of the iTunes Radio station I was listening to, generally The Shins which I love. I have not heard it since then, but it has been stuck on my head. The lyrics play around in my mind, and Elliott's voice comforts me in any given time that I am confused. I remember getting attached to his music when I was in the 8th grade and I was open to learn about any music that I was not familiar with. Sadness overcame when I found out he had passed away back in 2003. He is one of my favorites that I don't really mention a lot.