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song is on my mind

 Fake Plastic Trees - Radiohead

"But I can't help the feeling, I could blow through the ceiling..."

It's incredible how as time goes by, songs that used to feed and ease the pain become enjoyable to listen to again. I pushed repeat on this jam my entire high school and half of my college career. It almost seemed as if my relationships back then could be considered fake. plastic. trees. 

How I wanted to be in love so badly, and worse, be loved back in the same way. From people who had their own agendas, standards of beauty, requisites for romance. 
"If I could be, who you wanted... all the time."

I altered my cultural tastes like a well fitted designer suit. 
I let them shop my attire, uniform style.
Suddenly, my desires were no longer viable and adequate. 
You're not really that pretty, you're not that smart either.
She went crazy, even when she was already mad.
"It wears her out."

I sure looked like the real thing,
tasted like the real thing too.
I was always searching for real
in this fake plastic facetious world. 

If I could be, who I WANTED.
ALL THE TIME.

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